The Nest of Vast Neon Wolf

Lost and Found (Part 3)

by stefwill on Oct.21, 2008, under Random Thoughts

First let me just apologise about the state of Part 2. My work blocks my blog so I had to post that from my phone. No excuse really but there it is.

Well I got to work this morning and there, sitting in my Gmail inbox was an email from my Dad. It took me about half an hour to actually open it. I was scared silly. I finally plucked up the courage and read it. It was short and to the point but I cried any way. He wants me to call him so we can talk.

I tried to respond to his email but kept deleting it. Finally I sent an email to my aunt telling her how I felt, these emotions that are boiling up in me are hard to explain. I’m happy, sad, scared, elated and have 6 billion thoughts all bouncing around at the speed of light.

My mobile rang with a private number about half an hour later. It was my aunt, calling from Florida just to make sure I was okay. It was the first time I’d ever spoken to her. It was amazing and I cried some more. My boss asked if I was alright, I gave her the short version, she told me to go home and just process everything that is going on.

So now, I still haven’t emailed my Dad, I was feeling much more relaxed, That was until I started thinking about what I’d say in my email. Now the panic is setting back in! What the hell do I say? How can I slice open my chest and pour out everything that is swarming around in there in to an email? I can’t call him a) it’s 4am and b) I think my heart would leap out of my mouth!

So where does that leave me? Right where I started. I just have to shot off a short “Hi Dad, good to hear from you” email.

How hard can it be?

I’ll let you know.

Peace

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